The Chinese have a specific word for the atmosphere in their restaurant: “renao”.

This literally means “hot and noisy” and that is the way they like it. When Chinese go out for dinner, they love to have fun. The Western way, in which whispering couples sip expensive wine by candlelight,  is not the way for the Chinese. It doesn’t matter how you are dressed either. I’ve had dinner in expensive restaurants where people were eating together in their work clothes. Clothes are not important to most Chinese; they’ll just wear what is comfortable and don’t really care about what others might think. A fancy suit with gym shoes is perfectly acceptable.

There are some rules though, especially when going out to dinner with Chinese people. One of the most important rules to remember is to let others pour your drinks and you’ll have to pay attention to keep their glass filled. Filling your own glass is a sign that your host is not taking good care of you. Most of the time fish bones, chicken bones and everything else you don’t want to eat, can be spit out on the table cloth in front of your plate or on the floor.

When drinking with Chinese, the usual toast literally means “dry glass”. Usually this is only used when you will empty your glass all at once. In a restaurant it is not unusual to see a group of twelve getting up constantly and toasting each other. This will be very noisy since all kinds of wishes are being spoken.

You also have to make sure that the guest will be provided with the best food on the plates. You do this by putting the food in his rice bowl. Your guest will do the same to you; this can get tricky sometimes. I have experienced that my rice bowl was constantly filled with a specific dish I did not like. Since refusal would be impolite, you’ll have to keep on smiling and try to point out, in a suitable way, that you would rather have that other dish.

Usually in China, rice is used as a “filler” at the end of the meal. During a celebration no rice is being served. The main dishes are the most important and asking for rice at the beginning of the meal would be considered an insult to the host.

One thing that happens on a frequent basis are “fights” about who is going to pay for dinner. Chinese love to argue about who is going to get the bill. You will see people who try to snatch the bill away from someone else at the table and end up yelling at each other with heated faces. In China it is considered polite to offer to pay the bill once or even twice, even if it’s obvious that you are the guest. You can object loudly to show you are being sincere even if you are bluffing. Even when you’re invited for dinner it doesn’t mean it is clear who is going to pay the bill. An easy solution, if someone invited you but you would like to pay for dinner, is to say “you invited me but I’m paying”. This will guarantee a lot of trouble but you’ll never know if they are bluffing. If you want to avoid these “fights”, you’re better of paying the bill at the buffet or to one of the girls without your guests noticing. Your guests will object nonetheless but it will be less intense since the bill has already been paid for and it will also be appreciated. You will have to get a good feel for if you are expected to pay of if you’re being treated.

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